“ Ek baar Sita ji ne Ravan ke garden me bahut shor machaya, toh Ravan ka beta Megnaath aaya aur bola
.
.
.
.
Volume kam kar Pappa Jag Jayega ”
____________________________________
“ If u care me,i will care u,
If u mi$s me,i will miss u,if u msg me,i will msg u,if u will forget me,
i m sorry dear kahani me twist hai
.
.
I will kill u. ”
____________________________________
“ Boy: I Wna Tell U Smthn
Grl:Its Nt Gud 2 Talk While Eating
(After Eating)
G:Nw Tell Me
B: Thr Ws A Cockroach In Ur Food.
Aur ban heroine... ”
____________________________________
“ Nadiya ke is paar
Parvat ke us paar
Nadiya ke is paar
Parvat ke us paar
Nadiya ke is paar
Parvat ke us paar
Ek shandaar char lane ka highway ban raha hai ”
____________________________________
“ Vo kaun hai? Jo ISHQ me hai? Jo MANN me hai? Jo DIL me hai? Magar DHADKAN me nahi? Jyada soch mat STUPID Vo hai AMIR KHAN. ”
____________________________________
“ Teacher: Bade ho kar tum kya karoge?
Student: Ji shaadi.
Teacher: Mera matalab, kya banoge?
Student: Ji dulha.
Teacher: Are, mera matlab hai, kya hasil karoge?
Student: Ji DULHAN.
”
____________________________________
“ Santa ko sapne me chappal mari, 2 din tak bank nahi gaya
.
.
.
.
q ki bank me likha tha "hum aapke sapno ko hakiqat me badalte he... ”
____________________________________
“ MAHEK WHISKY KI KABHI KAM NAHI HOTI ,
PINE SE ZINDAGI KHATM NAHI HOTI ,
BOTTEL K SATH HO AGAR NAMKEEN AUR GOLD FLAKE,
TO ZINDAGI SULTAAN MIRZA SE KAM NAHI HOTI .
”
____________________________________
“ unhone ghoonghat jo uthaya din me raat ho gayi
pyaar ki sunahri dhoop ki jagah barsaat ho gayi
armaano pe mere petrol tab fir gaya
jab shaadi k din hi wo kisi aur k saath faraar ho gayi ”
____________________________________
“ Behosh aadmi ko dekhkar doctor: ye to mar chukka hai, Aadmi Bola: mai zinda hoon! Biwi: tum chup raho ji, itna bada doctor kya jhoot bolege! ”
____________________________________
“ BHAGWAT GITA SAYS, Whr thr is a girl, thr is shaanti!
Shaanti means Peace!
Thats y, wen boys see girls, they say, SUPER PEACE!!! (SUPER-PIECE) ;-)
"
____________________________________
“ Patni- Utho raat k 2 baje hain..
Pati- Itni raat ko mujhe neend se kyun uthaya?
Patni- Aaj aapne neend ki goli nahi li.. ”
____________________________________
“ WHO'S GUILTY?
Wife dreaming at night. Suddenly, "Quick! My husband is back!"
Man gets up, jumps out of d window & realizes, "Damn it! I'm d husband!!!" ”
____________________________________
“ PJ OF THE DAY-
Plz eat Parle-G & not Tiger biscuits!
WHY?
COZ
.
.
.
Now only 1411 tigers left... ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ HORROR Joke -
Mujhe thi uske pyaar ki chahat,
WAH WAH!
Arz kiya hai-
Mujhe thi uske pyaar ki chahat,
Wah wah!
Par wo dekh rahi thi Sony pe Aahat... :-D ”
____________________________________
“ Premi to premika- "Darling mujhe tumhari aankhon me saari duniya dikhai deti hai.."
Peeche se ek budhha bola- "Hamari gaiyya nahi mil rahi.. Dikhe to batana.." ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ Dost k peeche mat bhago, Agar bhagna hai to dost ki girlfriend k peeche bhago!
Dost jhakh markr tumhare piche aayega ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ A boss asked santa to bring 2 corner tickets for a movie to enjoy with his gf..
Santa brought 2 corner tickets- A1 & A24..
LO KARLO ENJOY!!! ”
____________________________________
“ .. 6u!uRow poo6
6u!|!ws
d33>|
.
.
CONFUSED????
Turn ur phone upside down & read again.. :-) ”
____________________________________
“ Sardar galti se samundar me gir gay,
Doobte doobte uske haath me machhli lagi, Use pakad k bahar phenka aur bola "tu to apni jaan bacha le.." ”
____________________________________
“ Train chal padi. 2 sardar train ki taraf bhaage. Ek chadh gaya. Public - Well done!
Sardar- O shit! Jise jana tha wo peeche reh gaya! Main to drop karne aaya tha.. ”
____________________________________
“ Wen a man opens d door of his car for his wife, either the car is new or the wife ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ Next sunday ko free rehna. Koi program mat banana. I'm coming to meet u!
Tumhe kahin le jana hai..
Plz mana mat karna aur kisiko batana mat ye baat..
Sirf tumhare aur mere beech rakhna
k
tumhe POLIO DROPS lene jana hai ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ Bus ka accident hua. Ek aadmi ro raha tha- Mera haath kat gaya! Bahut dard ho raha hai..
Sardar- Abe chhup! Wo dekh us aadmi ka to gala cut gaya fir bhi wo chhupchhap leta hai..
”
____________________________________
“ BHAGWAN KO GUSSA KAB AATA HAI//?
Jab koi ladki shaadi se pehle pregnant ho jaye aur uski maa kahe, "HE BHAGWAN! YE TUNE KYA KIYA??????" ”
____________________________________
“ Yamraj 100 logon ko narak le ja rahe the..
Raaste me Narad ji mil gaye. Bole- Ye kya Yamdev? Itne saare ek saath?
Yamraj- March ending hai.. Target poora karna hai.. :-( ”
____________________________________
“ Ek indian ne ek chinese ladki se shaadi kar li..
Ek saal baad ladki mar gayi..
Ladke ko rota dekh uska dost bola, "Afsos hai par soch yaar China ka maal aur kitne din chalega???????" ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ Koi aapko paagal kahe to dukhi mat hona..
Afsos mat karna,
Rona bhi nahi,
Himmat se poochhna..
TUMHE KAISE PATA CHALA ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ MOSQUITO SONG-
Bheege pankh mere,
Pyasa dank mera,
Lage amrit sa, Mujhe khoon tera..
Kabhi mere saath koi raat guzaar..
Tujhe subha tak main kar doon bimaar..
o..o..oooooooo........ ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ ARZ KIYA HAI-
Limca ka flavour hota hai lime,
ZARA GAUR FARMAIYYE HUZUR!
Limca ka flavour hota hai lime..
Speed is equal to distance upon time..
WAH WAH!!! ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ Wife (in romantic mood)- Aaj mere tan badan me aag laga do!
Husband ne petrol daal kar aag laga di..
MORAL- KRIPAYA APNI BHAVNAON KO SAAF SHABDON ME VYAKT KAREIN! ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ Our brilliant Santa does it again-
Teacher- Which is ur favourite dish?
Santa- TATA SKY!!! ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ Night was dark,
Moon was high.
Boy stopped bike, Girl asked why?
He came close, she felt shy..
& He said, DHAKKA MAAR HEROINE PETROL KHATAM HO GAYA HAI.... :-P ”
____________________________________
“ Sardar thinking hard.
Sardarni- Kya Soch rahe ho?
Sardar- Ye TV walo ko kaise pata chalta hai?
Sardarni- Kya?
Sardar- "Aap dekh rahe hain STAR PLUS" ”
____________________________________
“ Haathi ne kaha jaakar hathni ki kabar par,
WAH WAH!
Haathi ne kaha jakar hathni ki kabar par..
Mujhe naaz tha teri patli kamar par.. :-P ”
____________________________________
“ Ek raat light chali gayi..
Sardar- Oye kam se kam fan to chalao!
Sardarni- Kar di na sardaron wali baat! Fan on karenge to mombatti bujh nahi jaayegi.. ;) ”
____________________________________
“ Difference between a man falling from 1st floor & a man falling from 10th floor-
Former goes DHAP AAAAAAAAAA....
&
Later goes AAAAAAAA DHAP! ;) ”
____________________________________
“ Ganjo ki race me ek ganje ne baazi mari,
Magar inaam lene ko wo nahi raazi..
Ganje ne gusse me kaha "ye bhi koi khel hai?
Jisme ganjo ka inaam kanghi aur tel hai.." ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ Women wont play football not coz they aren't gud at it..
But coz its against their ego to b dressed up exactly like 10 other women in
front of 10,000 ppl.. ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ Jaante ho tajmahal banwane se pehle wahan kya tha?
.
.
.
.
.
.
BILKUL AISI HI KHAALI JAGAH THI.. ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ OX- E kya bolti tu?
COW- E kya main bolun?
OX- Sun!
COW- Suna!
OX- Aati kya Gaushala?
COW- Kya karoon? Aake main Gaushala?
OX- Mundi hilayenge, Ghaas chabayenge, Gober failayenge aur kya? ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ Innocent baby handling his crush-
Main tumhe bhulne ki bahut koshish karta hoon..
Par kya karoon mummy roz badaam khila deti hai aur tumhari yaad
fir aa jati hai ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ Luv never dies..
It remains forever
&
forever
&
forever
&
forever..
Only partner changes.. ;-)
So keep loving d latest one ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ To reduce depression of students Sir showed them 3 Idiots..
Sir- Wat did u learn from d movie?
Students- Kiss karte waqt naak beech me nahi aati.. ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ Maa- Beta tum apne baal kyun nahi katwate?
Beta- Kyu maa?
Maa- Beta log rishte k liye tumhari behen ko dekhne aate hain aur tumhe
pasand kar jate hain!!! ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ Har gam ko pala nahi jata,
Kaanch ki cheezon ko uchhala nahi jata..
Kuch karna hi to mehnat karo yaaron,
Har baat ko ALL IZZ WELL bolkar taala nahi jata.. ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ Ghajini dekhne ke baad andaza hua ke main bhi kuch Amir Khan se kam nahi hoon ..
Main bhi parhta hun, samjhta hun
Phir 15 mints baad bhool jata hoon ”
____________________________________
“ Boy- Hey girl! Wats ur name??
Girl- Amitabh bachhan ko dhakka maro!
Boy- Means wat???
Girl- PUSH PAA!!! ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ Reliance mobile k handset k peeche 3G CDMA kyun likha hota
hai??
3G CDMA means 3 Gujrati Chor Dhiru Mukesh Anil..
”
____________________________________
“ Wat is d extreme limit of Stupidity??
2 sardars sitting in a rickshaw & fighting for window seat!!! ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ Teacher asks a marathi Boy- Give me an example of Positive, Comparative &
Superlative degree!
Boy answers- "Bhari!!.. Layi bhari!!.. Layi mhanje layich bhari!!.." ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ Ek ladki khadi thi..
Na sms kar rahi thi..
Na call kar rahi thi..
Fir bhi uska balance ja raha tha...
.
.
Kaise??
.
.
Kyuki
.
.
Wo ek pair par khadi thi.. ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ Usne jis jis jagah rakhhe kadam,
Humne wo har zameen choom li..
Aur wo bewafa ghar aakar kehti hai- "Kaku! Tumcha mulga maati khato!!!"
”
____________________________________
“ I saw someone in coffee shop today..
.
.
Graceful
Intelligent
Very smart
More like a celebrity!!
.
.
I went closer!!
.
.
Oh God!!
.
.
Yeh "mirrors" bhi na!!! ”
____________________________________
“ Ek sardar road pe potty kar raha tha..
Police ne use pakad liya..
Jab use le jaane lage to Sardar bola, "O KAANOON K RAKHWALO!
SABOOT TO UTHALO!!" ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ Ek ship me 300 sardar jaa rahe the..
Bina ship doobe, sabhi doob gaye..
.
.
KAISE??
.
.
SHIP BAND HO GAYA
.
.
AUR SABHI DHAKKA DENE K LIYE UTAR GAYE!!! ”
____________________________________
“ Chuhiya hathi se- 'I luv u!'
Hathi- 'Tujhe mujhse darr nahi lagta?'
Chuhiya ne turant bhagwan ganesh ki photo nikali aur boli- 'Tujhme rab dikhta hai.. Yaara main kya karoon???' ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ If Amitabh Bachhan is PAA,
Then who is MAA??
Answer- LETTER!!
HOW??
Chitthi AAI hai AAI hai
Chitthi AAI hai..
”
____________________________________
“ NEPALI ANTHEM-
Suno gorse duniya walo,
Chahe jitne mehel banalo,
Ushke aage garden banalo,
Ushke aage Gate lagalo,
Ushke aage honge hum NEPALI.. ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ TYPICAL STUDENT LIKE ME tosses a coin & thinks-
HEADS- will sleep
TAILS- will watch tv
COIN STANDS- will listen to music
STAYS IN AIR- will study... ;-) ”
“ Aajkal ki ladkiyon ki dress-
Yahan se less
Wahan se less
Kabhi sleeveless
Kabhi backless..
Aur koi ladka ghoor kar dekhe to
"KUTTA KAMINA SAALA CHARACTERLESS!!!" ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ SANTA- Tere kitne bachhe hain?
BANTA- 18
SANTA- Itne saare?
BANTA- Sasurji se wada kiya tha k unki beti ko kabhi khaali pet nahi rakhoonga ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ Sardar bag lekar bus me ghusa..
Aur zor se chillaya-
.
.
"KHABARDAR!!
KOI APNI JAGAH SE NAHI HILEGA!!
.
.
HAPPY SINGH
KULFIWALA KHUD SABKE PAAS AAYEGA!!!!" ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ Wife- Maine GADHO par research ki hai..
Wo apni GADHI k siwa kisi aur GADHI ko dekhte tak nahi..
Pati- Isliye to!!
Use GADHA kehte hain!!! ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ Banta- Wise men r always in doubt only idiots r sure of their case!
Santa- Ru sure??
Banta- Yes! Obviously!! ”
____________________________________
“ New style of proposing a girl- "I've spent many sleepless nights in ur luv & I don't want my son to do d same for ur daughter.. So lets make them Brother & Sister.." ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ AGE OF DRINKS-
1-3 CERELAC
4-8 MILK
9-13 HORLICKS
14-25 BEER
26-40 WHISKY
41-60 TONIC
.
.
AFTER 60- anytime GANGAJAL!!!! ”
____________________________________
“ Raat ki tanhai me jab koi aahat tumhe jagaye, Chupke se koi tumhare bed k paas aaye to
.
.
to
.
.
BEWAKOOF CHILLA ZOR SE
.
.
CHOR CHOR!!! ”
____________________________________
“ Ravan ko court le jaya gaya.
Judge- Apna haath gita par rakho!
Ravan- Sorry boss!!
Sita par haath rakh kar itna lafda hua, ab gita par nahi rakhunga!! ”
____________________________________
“ Do u remember d day we travelled in a car??
I put my dog out of d window..
U put ur face out of d window..
& ppl started shouting TWINS TWINS!!! ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ ULTRA HEIGHT OF LAZYNESS-
.
.
SLEEPING & DREAMING..
.
.
In DREAMING also SLEEPING!!! ”
____________________________________
“ DOVE se naha dho kar kya karna hai??
21 DEC 2012 k din sabko marna hai..
3 saal khushi se jee le dost,
Kyuki agle janam me phir JOHNSON baby se shuru karna hai.. ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ JOKE OF D DAY-
Small things hurt alot..
Eg. U can sit on a mountain top but not on a pin.. ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ I'M LAMP
U R LIGHT..
I'M COKE
U R SPRITE..
I'M SAAWAN
U R BAADAL..
I'M NORMAL
U R
.
.
.
ALSO NORMAL!!
KYA YAAR!!
KHUD PE HI SHAQ KARTE HO?? ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ 3 IDIOTS REMIX-
Student- GIVE ME SOME EXTRA TIME,
GIVE ME SOME BRAIN,
GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE,
TO WRITE MY PAPER ONCE AGAIN...
.
.
Examiner- NANANANA.. NA NA NA NA NA.. NANANA NANA... ”
____________________________________
“ REMIX OF UNCHHA LAMBA KAD-
Ik unchha lamba kutta,
Saadi gali wich sutta,
Raati thandi wich baaun baaun karda ni...
Oh Gwandia di kutti utte marda ni...
Baoon Baoon Baoon.. ”
____________________________________
“ If a baby is born in AFRICA,
Wat will b d color of d baby's teeth??
.
.
.
.
U FOOL!!
A new born baby doesn't have teeth!!
I KNOW UR ANSWER WAS "WHITE"!! ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ I said I'm d sweetest in d world..
God laughed & said- Wait u haven't met d person reading this..
.
.
MORAL- God also jokes!! ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ Jawani ko zindagi ki nikhaar kehte hain
pathjad ko chaman ka majdhaar kehte hain
Ajeeb chalan hai duniya ka yaaro
Ek Dhoka hain Jise hum sab "PYAAR" kehte hain ”
____________________________________
“ Aasman me tum, Paani me tum,
Zamee pe tum, Hawa pe tum..
Jahan jao wahan tum hi tum..
Dettol wali aunty theek hi kehti hain..
KITANU har jagah hote hain.. :-P ”
“ Reporter ne ek zakhmi se poochha- "Jab bomb gira kya wo phat gaya tha??"
Zakhmi (gusse se)- "Nahi! Wo reng kar mere paas aaya aur pyaar se bola "THAAA" B-) ”
____________________________________
“ BEFORE MARRIAGE-
.
.
BOY- YES at last! It was so hard to wait!
GIRL- Do u want me to leave?
BOY- No! Dont ever think abt it!
GIRL- Do u love me?
BOY- Of course! Over & over!
GIRL- Have u ever cheated on me?
BOY- No! Y ru even asking?
GIRL- Will u kiss me?
BOY- Every chance I get!
GIRL- Will u hit me?
BOY- R u crazy? I'm not that kind of a person!
GIRL- Can I trust u?
BOY- Yes!!
GIRL- My darling!
.
.
AFTER MARRIAGE??
Simply read from bottom towards up!! ”
____________________________________
“ Making a million friends is not an achievement..
The achievement is to make "A" friend who will stand by u wen a million r against u.. ”
____________________________________
“ Our life begins with a CRY!
Our life ends with OTHERS' CRY!
Try to utilize this gap & laugh as much as possible between these cries!! ”
____________________________________
“ A BAMS student had finished his course & was performing his 1st operation soon after finishing..
He prayed to God- "Lord! Accept my 1st gift 4u.." ”
____________________________________
“ Ek baar exam me question aaya- HIPS PE ESSAY LIKHO!
Santa apni pant kholkar hips dekh raha tha tabhi Banta bola- MAM! USNE KUNJI KHOL RAKHI HAI!! ”
____________________________________
“ DIFFERENT STYLES OF SAYING GOOD NIGHT-
DAD- GUDNITE SON!
FRND- GUDNITE DUDE!
GF- GUDNITE BABY!
LOVER- GUDNITE JAANU!
But MOM- SUSU KARKE SONA BETA!!!
MOMS ROCK!!! ”
____________________________________
“ MURDA AASHIQ KI GUZARISH-
Mat nikalo mera janaza us bewafa ki gali se..
Warna uska baap kahega kamina marte-marte bhi ek chakkar laga gaya!!!
”
____________________________________
“ Yamraj ne ek aadmi ko maar daya!
Chitragupt ne poochha- Maharaj aapne isse samay se pehle kyon maar diya?
Yamraj bole- Kya karoon? Closing ka time hai.. Target to poora karna hai.. ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ Sardar to Doctor- Wen I sleep, Monkeys plays football in my mind!
Doctor- No problem! Just take these medicines before sleeping!
Sardar- Kal se kha loonga! Aaj final hai!!
”
____________________________________
“ GEETA SAAR-
Mobile nirjeev hai!
Sim iski aatma hai..
Sms wo gyaan hai jo baantne se badhta hai..
Isliye he manav! Balance ka moh tyaag kar sms karna shuru kar!!
Moksh milega!!
”
____________________________________
“ Santa : Phone mere liye ho toh kehna mein ghar pe nahi hoon.
Jasmeet : Wo ghar pe hain.
Santa : Maine mana kiya tha ke…
Jasmeet : Phone mere liye tha!
”
(Posted on : 21-01-2010 Characters : 159)
“ WORLD'S SMALLEST RESIGNATION LETTER-
.
.
.
Dear Sir,
.
.
MAIN CHALA!!! ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ Examiner- Ye kaun sa bird hai? Iski taang dekh kar batao!
Student- Pata nahi..
Examiner- Tum fail ho gaye! Wat's ur name??
Student- Le meri taang dekh kar bata!!!
”
____________________________________
“ 3 lessons from 3 idiots movie-
1] Do any work with Passion & Choice
2] Believe in yourself [All izz well]
3] Always have 1 idiot frd like me.. ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ Woh inkar karte hain ikrar ke liye,
Nafrat bhi karte hain to pyar ke liye,
Ulti chaal chalte hain yeh ishqwale,
Ankhein band karte hain didar ke liye.
”
____________________________________
“ Santa aur Banta k bich me fight ho rahi thi..
Banta- Saale main tere kapde phaad k tujhe nanga kar doonga!!
Santa- Dekh serious ladai me Romantic baat mat kar!!!!
”
____________________________________
“ HEIGHT OF INSULT-
Boy asks a girl- Can u dance with me??
Girl- (with attitude) I don't dance with a child..
Boy- Oh! Sorry aunty! I didn't know u r pregnant!!!! ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ Pyar Se Hame koi gila nahi
Kyoki Pyar Hame kabhi Mila nahi
Hamne to ki hai umar bhar dosti
kyoki doston se jyada pyar karne wala mila nahi ”
____________________________________
“ Husband comes home after drinking & says- Priye! Aaj kuch aisa kaho k
mere kadam zameen pe na rahein..
Wife- Haraam khor! FAANSI LAGALE!!!
”
____________________________________
“ Doctor Patient se- Ab kaisa lag raha hai??
Patient- Khaansi to band ho gayi hai.. Magar saans ruk ruk kar aa rahi hai..
Doctor- Ghabrao mat! Insha allah wo bhi jaldi hi band ho jaayegi!! ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ Santa- Main ek baar apne bathroom me susu karne gaya to wahan sher tha!!
Banta- Fir kya hua?
Santa- Maine sher se kaha, Aap karlo! Mera to nikal gaya....
”
____________________________________
“ 2 friends were attending a boring lecture..
.
.
1st frd- Even my ass has fallen asleep..
2nd frd- I know! I heard it snore 3 times..
”
____________________________________
“ H
A
P
P
Y
.
.
N
E
.
.
HAPPY NE padosi ki ladki chhed di..
.
.
Aaj panchayat bulayi hai..
.
.
Agle k ghar KALESH ho gaya aur aap naye saal ki badhai dhoond rahe ho...
”
____________________________________
“ Jewelery shop me Santa ki zabardast pitayi ho gayi..
Why??
Santa ne sales girl se kaha- "Aapki ek ek item gazab ki hai..
Sone ka kya rate lengi????"
”
____________________________________
“ Archimede's love principle-
Wen a heart is dipped partially or fully in d love of a girl, then d loss in studies is equal to time spent in her memories.. ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ HEY GUD NEWS-
All march exams have been Cancelled coz of Swine-flu..
To confirm, see d website- www.ajab-bachhon-k-gajab-sapne.com ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ Professor- Chemical symbol of Barium??
Santa- BA!
Professor- For Sodium??
Santa- NA!
Professor- Good!! Wat forms wen 1 atom of BA & 2 atoms of NA combine??
Santa- BANANA.. ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ A BAD NEWS FOR ALL YOUNG GALS & GUYS-
.
.
Dear, This Valentine is coming on Sunday!!
.
.
Ab kya bol k ghar se nikloge???
Ha Ha!!
.
.
Enjoy this Valentine with ur family.. ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ Lion comes across Pig & said- I roar & d jungle fears!!
Pig replies- Nowadays, I sneeze & d World fears!!! ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ 70% College students in d World r sufferring from AIDS!!!
.
.
Can't believe??
.
.
But its true!!
.
.
AIDS
.
.
A- Attendance &
I- Internal marks
D- Deficiency
S- Syndrome!! ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ Ek baar ek terrirorist ne ek budhiya k bag me Bomb rakh diya!
Log chillaye- BUDHIYA BOMB! BUDHIYA BOMB!
Budhiya sharma k boli- Wo toh main jawani me thi.. ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ TOMORROW ALL SCHOOLS & COLLEGES WILL B CLOSED!
JUST INFORM TO ALL..
ALL EXAMS WILL ALSO B POSTPONED!
kyuki
Rosy miss ka kutta mar gaya!!
Wooooooo..... ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ Why do Indian women want same husband in next life too??
.
.
Bcoz
.
.
Efforts taken by her to change him in this life will not b wasted!! ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ Madam- Wo kya hai jo aadmi 2 taango par khada hoke karta hai par Dog 3 taango par??
Harry- SHAKE HAND!
.
.
MORAL- Harry jaise samajhdar aur shareef baniye!! ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ CUTE ROMANCE-
A boy & a girl in nursery class were kissing each other!
Suddenly teacher came!
"Wat's happening??"
Girl- "Mam! Isne meri vaseline le li! Waapash le lahi hoon!!"
”
____________________________________
“ HUSBAND & WIFE r like tyres of a vehicle!
If 1 punctures, d vehicle cant move further!!
MORAL- ALWAYS KEEP A SPARE TYRE!!! ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ Questn- Kutta poonchh kyun hilata hai??
?
?
?
Answr- Kyunki poonchh me itni taqat nahi ki wo kutte ko hila sake!!! ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ Kabhi ye mat socho k aapka BOYFRIEND aapko kitna ROMANTIC msg bhejta hai..
Ye socho k USKO KISNE BHEJA HOGA!!! ;-)
ISSUED IN PUBLIC INTEREST-
Jaago ladkiyon jaago!!!
”
____________________________________
“ CHANGING EXAM PATTERN-
In 1990- Answer all questions!!
In 2008- Write any 6 questions!!
In 2015- Read only questions!!
In 2020- Thanx for coming!! Aap aaye bahaar aayi!!! ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ ECG of a student-
NORMAL HEART- _,"._/\_,"._/\,_,",_/\_
EXAM TIME- _/|_/|_/|_/|_/|_/|_
&
WEN RESULTS R ANNOUNCED- _____________ ”
____________________________________
“ Once James Bond met a Dog in a jungle & said-
"I'm Bond, James Bond!!"
.
.
Dog bites him & replies- "I'm kutta! Paagal kutta!!!"
”
____________________________________
“ 3 Stupid stages of life-
TEEN- Have time & energy but no money
YOUNG- Have money & energy but no time
OLD- Have time & money but no energy!! ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ Smartness of boys-
Coll ka 1st day!
Boy- Tumhara naam kya hai?
Girl- Mujhe sab 'didi' kehte hain!
Boy- Wow! Wat a co-incidence? Mujhe sab 'jijaji' kehte hain!! ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ Sardar- Mere padosi ka bachha gum ho gaya!
Kallu- Fir tumne kya kaha?
Sardar- Maine kaha google pe search karlo..
Mil jaye to download karlo ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ A boy wrote love letter with blood to a Medical student Girl & said- 'Khat ka jawaab zarur dena!'
Girl replied- "Blood group- B+
Haemoglobin- 8gm
Sugar- 120
Fee- Rs 80!!"
”
____________________________________
“ ARZ KIYA HAI!
.
.
Saas hove taa changi hove!
.
.
Gaur kijiyega!
.
.
Saas hove taa changi hove!
.
.
Nahin taa photo deewar te tangi hove!!!! ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ Ek murgi market gayi aur boli-"Ek anda dena!"
Shopkeeper- Ande ka tum kya karogi??
Murgi- Mere pati ne kaha hai k 2 Rs k liye tum apna figure kharaab mat karo!
”
(Posted on : 22-12-2009 Characters : 163)
“ A couple were together..
Girl- My head is paining!
Boy kissed her head!
.
.
Girl- My neck is paining!
Boy kissed her neck!
.
.
An old man asked- Beta loose motions ka bhi ilaaz karte ho kya??? ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ RAVINDRANATH TAGORE sharmayenge to unhe kya kahenge?
.
.
SHARMILA TAGORE!!!
”
____________________________________
“ Banta's advice- Dont carry umbrella during rains!!
Keep WHISPER on ur head!
Ye ghanton tak geelepan ka ehsaas na hone de!! ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ U R MY BEST, SMART, CUTE, LOVABLE, SWEET, INTELLIGENT FRIEND!!
NOTE- Is msg k sabhi shabd kaalpnik hain!
Inka vaastwikta se koi sambandh nahi!!
Ha ha ha!! ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ Wat vl 2 Gay men tell each other wen they see a Beautiful & Pretty girl????
.
.
.
YAAR, LADKI AISI HAI TO ISKA BHAI KAISA HOGA??? ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ UP me bachhon k surname-
Bachha 1 baap se ho to- EKNATH
2 se- DUBE
3 se- TIVARI
4 se- CHATURVEDI
5 se- PANDE
Sabse ho to- MISHRA JI
aur
Baap ka pata na ho to - GUPTA ji!!! ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ KID- Mom, I want a Baby brother!
MOM- Son, ur dad is overseas! Wen he comes back, we'll talk over it!
KID- Why dont u just surprise him???.... ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ MAKKHAN- Tumhari gaadi kaisi condition me hai??
DHAKKAN- Horn k alawa sab cheez aawaz karti hain!! :-|
”
____________________________________
“ Reporter ne ek zakhmi se poocha- "Jab bomb gira kya wo phata??"
Zakhmi (gusse me)- "Nahi! Wo reng kar mere paas aaya aur pyaar se bola- DHAPPAAAA!!!!" ;-P
”
____________________________________
“ Thr's always a DRIVE SLOW board near Boy's school, but not near Girls' college!
.
.
WHY??
.
.
Coz vehicles automatically go slow thr!! ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ Ek parinde ko machhli se pyaar ho gaya!
Par wo dono milein to kaise??
Machhli paani chhod nahi sakti aur parinda paani me ja nahi sakta!
If u know d answer, reply!! ;-)
(ANSWER- Zaruri nahi k pyaar karne wale ka pyaar tabhi poora ho jab wo milein! Ek doosre ko khush dekh kar bhi wo jee sakte hain!!! TOO HYPOTHETICAL :-l)
”
____________________________________
“ How does a smart & intelligent person take bath during winter??
Ans- He stands in front of mirror, throws water on d mirror & says- "CHAK DE FATTE!! Aaj phir naha liya!!!" ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ NON SMOKERS- I hate cigarette! So I dont touch it!
SMOKER- I too hate cigarette! So I BURN IT!!
ATTITUDE MATTERS!! ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ Dear subscriber,
We're sorry to inform u that ur Roaming facility has expired today!
Kindly return to
.
.
ZOO!!
.
.
IMMEDIATELY!!! ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ Yesterday in my dreams, all my books were singing a song!
Guess which one??
.
.
Zara zara touch me touch me touch me!
Zara zara hold me hold me hold me!!! ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ A SAYING- 'Sorrow is ur constant companion!
Happiness comes & goes!'
Sardar agrees- 'My wife is always vd me! Her sister comes & goes!!' ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ WHY IS INDUSTRIAL GROWTH SO SLOW IN TAMIL NADU & KERELA??
COZ
.
.
86% WORK-TIME IS SPENT ON
.
.
LIFTING
.
.
FOLDING
.
.
&
.
.
HOLDING D LUNGI!!! ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ DO BAAR LIPS PE
.
.
DO BAAR GAAL PE
.
.
EK BAAR MAATHE PE
.
.
COLD CREAM ZAROOR LAGANA!!
SARDI AA GAYI HAI NA!! ;-)
HAPPY WINTER SEASON!!
”
____________________________________
“ JO PASAND AAYI WO MILI NAHI,
JO MILI WO JAMI NAHI,
JO JAMI USKE SAATH MAZA NAHI AAYA,
JIASKE SAATH MAZA AAYA WO HAEMSHA K LIYE RAHI NAHI!!!
.
.
AJEEB HAI YE NAUKRI!!!! ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ Dog & mosquito were in love!
1 day Mosquito gave love-bite to dog!
Dog got emotional & bite Mosquito!
Next day,
Mosquito died of Rabies &
Dog died of Malaria!!
Pyaar k side- effects!!
”
____________________________________
“ Cutest msg-
A cute newborn baby asks Doctor- "Do u hav sms pack?"
Dr- Ya! But why?
Baby- Send a sms to God dat I've reached safely & send my girlfriend soon!! ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ 1980 girl- Pehla pehla pyaar hai, Jiya bekaraar hai..
Aaja mere saajna tera intzaar hai!
2008 girl- 3ra 4tha pyaar hai, Jiya bekaraar hai..
Aaja mere saajna nahi to 5va tayyar hai.. ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ Kash Vaado ka matlab wo samajte
Kash khomoshi ka matlab wo samajte
nazar kehti hai hazaar baatein
kash meri ek nazar ka matlab wo samajte ”
____________________________________
“ Yashomati maiyya se bole Nandlala-
"Maa, Tata Sky laga dala to life Jhingalala!!!"
.
.
Ab hanso pet pakad pakad ke!!
”
____________________________________
“ Where was Love born?
Guess!
Simple!
In CHINA!
.
.
Coz
It has
NO WARRANTY
& NO GUARANTEE!
Chale to chand tak!
Nahi to shaam tak!! ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ CUTEST PROPOSAL EVER-
A boy in 1st std- "Do u hug ur teddy bear while sleeping at night??"
Girl- Yes!
Boy- Can I replace it for d rest of ur life??? ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ Life of a Student-
Wallet hai Paise nahi..
Lectures hain Attendance nahi..
Mobile hai Balance nahi..
Frnds hain Girlfrnd nahi..
Exams hain Tension nahi..
Padhna hai, Mood nahi.. ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ Doctor girl 1- Dil k operation ko Bypass kyun kehte hain??
Doctor girl 2- Kyuki agar operation theek ho gaya to PASS! Warna hamesha k liye BYE BYE!!!
”
____________________________________
“ 15 to 20 saal ki larki football ki tarha hai aik k pechay dus log.
21 to 30 saal ki larki cricket ball hai aik k pas ati hai baqi reh jatay hain.
31 to 40 saal ki larki to nahi hoti,
Woh aurat hoti hai jo table tennis ki ball ki tarha hai aik kehta hai tu rakh dusra kehta hai tu rakh !
”
____________________________________
“ Wife Pati ko maar rahi thi-
Padosi- Kyu maar rahi ho?
Patni- Inko phone kiya to ek ladki boli aap jisse sampark karna chahte ho wo abhi vyast hai..
”
____________________________________
“ Hijde shaadi me badhai dene gaye!
Hijda 1- Hay hay! Main to 1100 loongi!
Hijda 2- Main 2100 loongi!
Santa- Arre 2310 lo! Usme FM bhi hai!!! ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ Professor- Wen wud b India's Biggest Confusion Day?
Student- Sir! Wen Raksha Bandhan vl come on 14th Feb!!
”
____________________________________
“ A sardar went to a temple on Hanuman Jayanti!
Pujari gave him aarti..
Guess wat sardar did??
Sardar blew off d Diya & said- HAPPY B'DAY HANUMAN JI..
”
____________________________________
“ BOY- My father's name is Laughing!
Mother's name is Smiling!
TEACHER- U must be Kidding!!
BOY- No, thats my brother!
I'm Joking!! ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ Santa was walking thru d forest..
He saw a snake hanging on d tree!
Santa- Sirf latakne se kuch nahi hoga! Mummy ko bolo Complan pilaayein!! ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ Santa ne ek raah chalti ajnabi ladki se kaha- Aapne pehchana mujhko?
Ladki- Nahi..
Santa- Main wahi hoon jise aapne parson bhi nahi pehchaana tha!! ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ MY THOUGHTS FOR LIFETIME-
Achha dost kitni bhi baar rooth jaye, usse mana lena chahiye!
Kyuki wo KAMEENA aapke saare raaz janta hai!!!!! ”
____________________________________
“ HA
HA
HA HA
HA HA HA
.
.
HE HE
HE HE HE
.
.
HOOO
.
.
Kuch nahi yaar!
Achanak tera chehra yaad aa gaya tha!!
Kabhi kabhi bhagwaan bhi accha mazaak kar lete hain ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ Nurse- Mubarak ho! Aapke ghar beta hua hai!
Santa- Wah! Kya technology hai! Biwi meri hospital mein hai aur bachha ghar paida hua hai???? ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ BOYS' PSYCHOLOGY-
Fraud vd innocent girl,
Frdshp vd charming girl,
Contacts vd smart girl,
Flirt vd freaky girl,
Luv vd cute girl &
Marriage 'Jaisi mummy ki marzi!!!' ”
____________________________________
“ A tragic Love-story:
A Pig fell in love with a Hen..
1 day they kissed each other!
.
.
.
Next day,
the Pig died of Bird Flu!
& the Hen died of Swine Flu!! :-( ”
____________________________________
“ Jo mujhe bhool jaye uska mobile toot jaye..
Charger jal jaye..
Local call pe STD ka bill aaye..
Har call pe roaming lag jaye!!!
AAAAAAAAMEEEEEEEEN!!!!! ”
____________________________________
“ Never kiss a Lawyer!
She'll say, I OBJECT!
Never kiss a Nurse!
She'll say, NEXT!
Always kiss a Teacher!
She'll say, DO IT 5 TIMES! & KEEP REVISING!! ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ Shaadi k doosre din beti apni maa se- Aaj meri unse bahut ladai ho gayi!
Maa- Beti shaadi me jhagde to hote rehte hain!
Beti- Wo sab to theek hai! Par ab LAASH ka kya karoon??? ”
____________________________________
“ 3 ways to catch a tiger-
1] NEWTON'S METHOD- Allow d tiger to catch u & catch d tiger!
2] EINSTEIN'S METHOD- Chase d tiger until it gets tired & then catch it!
3] INDIAN POLICE METHOD- Catch a cat & beat it until it accepts it is a tiger!
”
____________________________________
“ Pakistani poem-
Taliban Taliban!
Yes papa!
Exploding bombs?
No papa!
Telling lie?
No papa!
Open ur jacket!
THAA THAA THAA!!! ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ Baby sardar praying-
Bhagwaan ji! Plz Punjab nu america di capital bana do!!!
Plz plz plz!
Bhagwaan ji- Kyun yaara?
Baby- Kyuki main exam vich likh aaya si!!! ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ Whr can u see MANGOES??
?
?
On Mango Tree?
.
.
No!
.
.
At Fruit shop?
.
.
Wrong again!
.
.
Fir kahan?
.
.
Jaha jaha Woman Goes,
Peeche peeche
MAN-GOES!! ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ Thirsty crow story in Hinglish-
Once upon a Waqt,
Thr was a Kauwa!
He was very Pyasa!
Here there Bhatka,
He saw a Matka!
Some patthar Patka,
Water Gatka & Satka!! ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ Santa Was Suffering From Loose Motion
Doctor Asked - What Is Your Problem?
He Said- Free OutGoing With Variety Of Ring Tones'!
”
____________________________________
“ Banta : Agar aapko
Garmi lage to aap kya
karte ho?
Santa : Cooler k samne baith jata hu.
Banta : fir bhi Garmi lage to?
Santa : Toh Cooler on kar leta hu. ”
____________________________________
“ This msg has
NO FAT
NO CHOLESTEROL
NO ADDITIVES
It has
Natural Flavours of
LOVE
CARE
JOY
It contains
PRAYERS 4 U
IT is 100% Pure
Just like our FRIENDSHIP ”
____________________________________
“ Ek haathi romantic mood me ek cheeti ko chhedta hai..
Cheeti gusse me hathni k paas jakar kehti hai, "Apne aawara pati ko samjha lo! Warna Mard hamare ghar me bhi hain.." ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ A sardar introduces his family @ a function.. Hi! I'm sardar! This is my sardarni! He is my Kid! She is my Kidney!!! ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ Baby mosquito came back after its 1st flight..
His dad asked him, how do u feel?
He replied, "It was wonderful! Everyone was clapping for me!!"
Thats Attitude!! ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ Arz hai janaab-
Jise koyal samjha wo kauwa nikla,
Dosti k naam par hauwa nikla,
Jo roka karte the hamein sharaab peene se,
Aaj unhi ki jeb se pauwa nikla.. ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ Sardar- Express train kitne baje ki hai?
TC- 1 baje!
Sardar- Local train?
TC- 9 baje!
Sardar- Maal gadi?
TC- Jaana kahan hai?
Sardar- Patri cross karni hai!! ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ Question- Voting k liye 18 saal aur Shaadi k liye 21 saal poore hone chahiye! Aisa kyun hai???
Answer- Kyunki sarkar sambhalna aasan hota hai par biwi sambhaalna utna hi mushkil! ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ Ek ladka bus stop pe mobile le kar khada tha..
Wo kisi ko bhi call/ sms nahi kar tha fir bhi uska balance jaa raha tha!!
Batao kaise??
[ANS- Wo ek taang pe khada tha!!] ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ Life's like a movie!
If u r sad- DRAMA,
If u r afraid- SUSPENSE,
If u r angry- ACTION,
If u look in mirror- COMEDY!
.
.
Now u r smiling!
That's- HORROR!! ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ Sardaar ne maachis ki tilli jalai..
Nahi jali!
Dusri jalai,
Nahi jali!
Teesri jalai,
Jal gayi..
Sardar ne jaldi se bujha di aur bola, "Ye kaam ki hai! Rakh leta hoon!!!" ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ Important baat-
Ek din aapki life me ek ladka aayega jo apko bahut jyada pyaar karega..
Apko pyaar se chhuega..
Dher saare kiss karega aur kahega..
.
.
.
I LOVE U MOM!! ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ An elephant fell in love with an ant..
But ant's parents were against marriage!
Guess why??
.
.
.
They gave a solid reason!
Ladke ke daant baahar hain!! ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ 1 hand on pen,
Other on phone..
1 ear on lecture,
Other on gossip..
1 eye on board,
Other on crush..
Kaun gadha kehta hai, Student life is easy!!! ”
____________________________________
“ Aapko tohfe me laptop dena chaha..
.
.
.
Lekin
.
.
.
Is tarah button daba daba k aap kharaab kar doge! Islaye cancel kar diya!! ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ Agar koi Galti,
Gustaakhi,
Mistake,
etc
ho gayi ho..
toh
plz...
.
.
.
.
.
Maafi maang lo! Main aaj bahut achhe mood me hoon :-) ”
____________________________________
“ If sum1 throws a stone at u, just smile & throw back a flower back at them....
But make sure u throw a flower with pot!!! ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ A boy on a date in BMW car..
BOY- Maine tumse ek baat chhupai hai!
GIRL- Kya?
BOY- I'm already married!
GIRL- Tumne to dara hi diya tha! Main samjhi BMW tumhari nahi hai..
”
____________________________________
“ Why do we all marry??
Coz Romance is not the only Element of life!
One should also experience Horror, Suspense, Irony, Stupidity & Tragedy in life..
”
____________________________________
“ Vidaai k samay Dulhe ka mobile baja..
Bride slappe him!
.
.
Why??
.
.
Uski ringtone thi, 'Dil me chhupakar pyaar ka armaan hum chale,
Hum aaj apni maut ka saaman le chale!!' ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ If Bill Gates stops his business & start spending his money by Rs 1 crore/ day, He can spend it for about 725yrs..
But he still prefers earning his day ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ 3 sardars going on a motorcycle..
A policeman shows his hand to stop!
Sardar shouted- "Idiot! Already 3 r sitting! tu kya sir pe baithega???"
”
____________________________________
“ Santa- Agar nariyal k ped pe chhad jaun to Engineering college ki ladkiyan dikh jaayengi??
Banta- Zaroor!! Aur haath chhod dega to medical college ki bhi dikh jaayengi.. ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ Mukesh & Anil have been advised to take large doses of Hajmola!!
Why???
?
?
?
Bcoz Hajmola guarantees to solve al ur GAS problems!! ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ A single spelling mistake that caused a Divorce!!
'A man went to Goa & sent a msg back to his wife- Having amazing & wonderful time!! Wish u were her....!!!!'
”
____________________________________
“ Sumit was filling up a job application.
He came to d column 'SALARY EXPECTED'..
After much thought he wrote- 'YES'!!! ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ SAM- I woke up this morning & felt like going out & getting a job!
PAM- Did u?
SAM- No.. I stayed in bed until d feeling passed... ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ NICKY- Wat's FORD?
LUCKY- Gaadi!
NICKY- Wat's OXFORD?
LUCKY- So simple! BAEL-GAADI!! ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ After eating fish Santa Singh never drinks water!
WHY??
Coz..
He feared that fish will start swimming in his stomach!! ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ If ever u start missing
ur coll days,
ur class,
ur frd circle,
ur crush or
anything abt ur coll life then
.
.
.
.
.
Just open ur marksheet!
.
.
.
.
SAARA NASHA UTAR JAYEGA!! ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ 3 thing that should not be asked-
1] A man's WAGE..
2] A woman's AGE..
3] A student's PERCENTAGE...
.
.
IT HURTS!!!
.
.
After all, hamari bhi feelings hain :-( ”
____________________________________
“ A sardarji doctor falls in love with a nurse.
He writes a letter to d nurse - "Love u Sister!!"
”
____________________________________
“ TOUGH QUESTION-
Difference betwn Husband & Gadha?
Husband- Gadha ban sakta hai!
Gadha- Itna bhi gadha nahi k Husband bane ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ Mungerilal ko 20 saal baad bachha hua!
Wo udaas ho gaya!
Naurangilal- Yaar udaas kyun hai?
Mungerilal- Yaar! 20 saal baad bachha hua wo bhi itna sa?? ”
____________________________________
“ 3 stupid stages of life-
TEEN- Hav energy & time but no money!
YOUNG- Have money & energy but no time!
OLD- Hav time & money but no energy!! ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ Sardaar standing below a tubelight with an open mouth..
WHY??
Coz his doctor advised him, "Pet me dard hai to aaj light hi khana.." ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ To hear wat is unspoken,
To see wat is unseen,
To feel without touch is called
SCHIZOPHRENIA....A MENTAL DISORDER!
& Ppl think its love!! Oh God!!! ;) ”
____________________________________
“ MORAL LINES BY A MILLIONAIRE- Money cant buy happiness!
But somehow, its comfortable to cry in a BMW than on a bicycle! ;) ”
____________________________________
“ Ye ek raaz ki baat hai..
Kisi ko batana mat!
Nahi bataoge na!
Wada??
To suno!
Gangadhar hi Shktimaan tha!!! ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ Wen U touch & feel, its Desire!
Wen u dont touch & still feel, its Love!
Wen u touch & dont feel, its
.
.
.
.
PARALYSIS!!! ”
____________________________________
“ Aaj ki ladkiyon ki dress-
Yahan se less
Wahan se less
Kabhi sleeveless
Kabhi backless!
Aur koi ladka ghoor k dekhe to- "Kutta kameena sala CHARACTERLESS...." ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ Definition of NURSE-
A beautiful Dashing Girl holding ur hand, looking in ur eyes & still wants ur Pulse to be Normal!!! ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ The most unfulfilled desire of all Science Students-
A BOMB SHOULD HAVE FALLEN INSTEAD OF AN APPLE ON NEWTON!!! ”
____________________________________
“ In park, a boy & girl were sitting!
2 dogs kissed each other..
Boy- Jaanu agar tum bura na mano, to main bhi..
Girl- Ok! Par sambhalkar! Kutta kaat lega.. ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ Sardar 1- Train me yaar raatbhar neend nahi aayi.. Upar ki seat mili thi!
Sardar 2- To exchange karna tha!
Sardar 1- Kisse karta? Neeche ki seat pe koi nahi tha.. ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ KBC me Amitabh- Wat's ur father's name??
Santa- [kuch bola nahi]
Amitabh- Jawaab dijiye!
Santa- Sir option to dijiye!! ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ British- Do u know swimming??
Indian- No!
British- Dog is better than u! It swims!
Indian- Do u know swimming??
British- Yes!
Indian- Then wat is d differens betwn U & Dog? ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ 1970 ki mom to her son- Beta apne religion ki ladki se hi shaadi karna!
1980 ki mom- Apni caste ki ladki se
1990- Apne level ki ladki se
2000- Apne desh ki ladki se
2010- Koi bhi! Par ladki se hi karna!!! ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ B4 u judge a person, Walk a mile in his shoes!
After that,
.
.
.
.
who cares??
He's a mile away
&
the shoes r urs!!
So run!!! ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ Ek sardar was running with his cycle.
Person- Y ru running vid cycle? U can sit & ride d cycle!
Sardar- Arrey bahut jaldi mein hoon! Baithne tak ki bhi fursat nahi hai.. ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ Band clinic k aage lambi line lagi thi..
Ek aadmi baar baar line me ghusta tha aur 3-4 log use pakad k peechhe kar dete the!
Aadmi- "Lage raho saalon! Main bhi clinic nahi kholoonga.." ”
____________________________________
“ Chuhe ne hathini se kaha- "I love u!"
Hathini boli- "Tujhe darr nahi lagta??"
Chuhe ne Ganesh ji ka photo dikhate hue kaha- "Tujhme rab dikhta hai, Yaara main kya karun!!!" ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ Sweet quote from an 8yr old kid- "Luv is wen I cant pay attention in class coz i'm too busy writing her 1st name vd my last name"... ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ Wat's Newton's 4th Law??
.
.
.
.
Gravity is not responsible wen ppl fall in love.. ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ Sweetest proposal by a KG class boy to a Senior KG girl..
Boy- Kya tu mujhse shaadi kalegi??
Gal- Nai!!
Boy- Kalle na plz!!
Gal- Nai kaloongi!!
Boy- Kalle na didi plz!! ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ Wat is 143??
I LOVE YOU???
NO!!
I MISS YOU???
NO!!
I WISH YOU??
NO!!
143 means One Hundred Forty Three!!
Parents ne kitnl ummeed se padhaya tha!
Laga di na waattt... ”
____________________________________
“ Marwadi donates blood to Arab.
Arab gifts him Ferrari!
Marwadi donates again.
He gets only 1Rs..
Marwadi- Why??
Arab- Ab meri ragon me tera khoon daudta hai!! ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ Ek sharaabi roz shiv mandir mein matha tekta tha!
Ek din pujari ne Shiv ji ki jagah Ganesh ki murti rakhi..
Sharaabi aaya, bola "Chhotu! Papa se kehna uncle aaye the" ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ Wife- Plz bike tez mat chalao! Mujhe darr lag raha hai..
Santa- Agar tujhe bhi darr lag raha hai to meri tarah aankhein band kar le.. ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ Jabse Tumhe dekha he
Mera Raat ko
Din ko
Subha ko
Sham ko
Khate waqt
Peete waqt
Sote waqt
Jagte waqt
Hans Hans k Bura HaaL he. ”
____________________________________
“ Dunia Me 7 Cheezain Asan Hai Or Mushkil Bhi.
1. Dosti Karna Aasan
.....Nibhana Mushkil.
2. Pyar Karna Aasan
.....Pana Mushkil.
3. Bharoosa Torna Aasan
.....Karna Mushkil.
4. Yaad Karna Aasan
.....Bhulna Mushkil.
5. Jhoot Kehna Aasan
.....Sach Sunna Mushkil.
6. Rulana Aasan
.....Hasana Mushkil.
7. Ap ko SCRAP Bhejna Aasan
.....Reply Ana Mushkil...........
Itz True.....See You r not replying..............Right na ”
____________________________________
“ If u see the moon,u can c the beauty of god.
If u c the Sun,u can see the power of god.
If u see the mirror,u can see the comedy of god ”
____________________________________
“ I LIKE U..
SERIOUSLY I LIKE U..
I DONNO HOW IT HAPPENED TO ME BIT I LIKE U..
NOT ONLY U,
I LIKE V, W, X, Y, Z & ALL OTHER LETTERS TOO.. ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ 99 saal ka Buddha mar k swarg pahuncha!
Apsaraon ka Dance dekh kar bahut pachhtaya!
Bola- Baba Raamdev k chakkar me na padta to kabka yahan aa gaya hota!! ”
____________________________________
“ Newspaper me news lagi ki
.
.
50% Sardars r Donkeys!
.
.
D Sardars Protested!!
.
.
Next day News lagi ki
.
.
50% Sardars r not Donkeys!!
.
.
& Sardars Celebrated!! ”
____________________________________
“ Santa 1st time plane mein baitha!
Plane runway pe chal raha tha..
Tabhi Santa ne Pilot ko thappad mara aur bola- "Mujhe der ho rahi hai aur tu by-road ja raha hai.." ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ Boy n Girl in restaurant-
Boy- Main last time pooch raha hoon, DO U LUV ME??
Girl- Nahin!
Boy- Sochlo!!
Girl-Keh diya na nahin!!
Boy- Waiter! Bill alag alag laana!!
”
____________________________________
“ Socho agar Doctors films banate to Title kya hota??
1] Kabhi khaansi Kabhi Dum
2] Kaho na bukhaar hai
3] T B No. 1
4]Kal patient ho na ho
5] Hum blood de chuke sanam! ;-)
”
____________________________________
“ Next year IPL3 has been shifted to PAK!
Facilities offered by PAK govt-
Security by Al-Qaida n Talibaan,
Cheer girls dancing in Burkhas,
Missiles aftr every Four,
Bomd blast aftr every Sixer,
&
AK47 firing aftr every Wicket!! ”
____________________________________
“ Sardar writing in his Diary-
.
.
.
My sister had a baby this morning!
.
.
.
I haven't heard if its a Boy or Girl..
.
.
.
So I dont know whether I'm MAMA or MAMI.. ”
____________________________________
“ Once thr was a Mirror which killed anyone who lied!
FRENCH- I think, I don't Smoke!! [Killed]
AMERICAN- I think, I love Iraq!! [Killed]
SARDAR- I think, [Killed] ”
____________________________________
“ FACT OF LOVE-
Luv starts 4m Eyes,
Grows vd Gifts,
Ends vd Tears!
BUT 2DAY'S LUV-
Starts 4m Mobiles,
Grows vd Balance,
Ends vd Number Busy!! ”
____________________________________
“ Santa was riding a cycle n hit a girl!
Girl shouted- 'Ghanti nahi maar sakta tha???'
Santa replied- 'Poori cycle to maar di! Ab ghanti alag se maaroon kya!!' ”
____________________________________
“ Bas chali, Jhatka laga
1 ladka 1 ladki par ja gira.
Ladki boli, Badtamez! Kya kar rahe ho??
Ladka bola, Vidyapeeth University se BAMS!!
”
____________________________________
“ A Prince had a Curse!
He'd speak only a Word in an Year!
He spoke nothing for 3yrs n waited to say, "I LUV U" to a Beautiful Princess who replied- "PARDON!!" ”
____________________________________
“ Thandi hai coffee garam karlo,
Is pathar dil ko thoda naram karlo.
Tumhare hote huye mera inbox khaali hai..
Thodi si to yaar sharam karlo!!
”
____________________________________
“ Ladka- If I kiss u & run, wat vl u think??
Ladki- I'll think, Ek bewakoof, Jo poora paper attempt kar sakta tha, sirf Roll no. likh k bhaag gaya!! ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ Santa 1st time plane mein baitha!
Plane runway pe chal raha tha..
Tabhi Santa ne Pilot ko thappad mara aur bola- "Mujhe der ho rahi hai aur tu by-road ja raha hai.." ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ Abe itni raat ko apun tere ko koi kahani sunane k liye msg to karega nahi..
Common sense ki baat hai, Tere ko Good Night bolne ka hai!
Chal ludhak le!! ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ EFFECT OF RECESSION...
Sign on d door of a Toilet!
.
.
.
.
.
.
CONSERVE TOILET PAPER!
USE BOTH SIDES!!! :-D
”
____________________________________
“ Samandar k kinaare baithe hain,
Kabhi to leher aayegi.
Kismat badle na badle,
.
.
.
.
Atleast, CHAPPAL TO DHUL JAYEGI... :-D
”
“ Boy- Nice dress!
Girl- Thanx!
Boy- Lipstick bhi acchhi hai..
Girl- Thanx!
Boy- Make up bhi achha hai!
Girl- Thanx bhaiyya!
Boy- Phirbhi sundar nahi lag rahi... ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ Ravan- Cigarette hai kya?
Hanuman ji- Nahi hai!
Ram ji- Hai to tere paas ek packet!
Hanuman ji- Shhhh! Prabhu, Iske 10 sir hain! Poora packet khatam kar dega! ”
____________________________________
“ Agar duniya me kuch karke dikhana hai to,
Sun meri baat!
Hathi k upar ulta khada hokar photo khincha..
Aur photo ko ulta kar k duniya ko dikha!
”
____________________________________
“ Most Innocent Dhamki- As d thief was leaving d house d kid woke up & said to d thief- "Mera school bag bhi lekar jao warna main mummy ko utha doonga!"
”
____________________________________
“ Neend me sapno se nahi khelna
Aankho me ashko se nahi khelna
Mujhe bus itna kehna hai ae dost
Pyar me kabhi apno se nahi khelna
”
____________________________________
“ Aap Aap Ho
Ham Ham Hain
Pyar Nahi Karte
Fir Bhi Ankhein Nam Hain
Supply Kam Hone Se
Golgappo Me Aalu Kam Hain
Is Se Bhi Bakwas Msg Bhejo
Agar Aap Me Dum Hai ”
____________________________________
“ Imagine the world without girls
Galiyan sunsan
Collage viran
Duniya pareshan
Tanha insan
Na jaanu, na jaan
Har taraf bas Karan's DOSTANA & JAI HANUMAN. ”
____________________________________
“ Ek Ameer Ladki ko School me Garib Parivar pe Essay Likhne ko Kaha Gya. Essay me usne Likha:
Ek Garib Parivar tha,
Pita Garib,
Maa Garib,
Bachche Garib.
Parivar me 4 Naukr the, wo bhi Gareeb..!
Car bhi Tooti hui SAFARI thi..!Unka Garib Driver Bachon ko Tooti Car me School Chhod K Aata tha..!
Bachon K paas Purane N95 Mobile the..!
Bache Hafte me 4 bar hi Chicken Khate the..!
Ghar me 4 hi 2nd Hand A.C. the..!
Sara Parivar Badi Mushkil se Aish Kar raha tha.. ”
____________________________________
“ Full form of GIRL.
G-Goli dene me sabse age.
I-Innocent sirf shakl se.
R-Rone ki automatic machine.
L-Ladai me sabki maa.
Phir bi duniya inki diwani. ”
____________________________________
“ Beauty is not how you look
it is not how handsome u r
it is not ur figure too
Beauty is inner self
so change ur underwear daily ”
____________________________________
“ Kyo Marte Ho Bewafa Sanam ke liye
Do Gaj Zamin hi Milegi Dafan ke liye
Marna hi hai to Maro DESH-WATAN ke liye
Har Hasina Duptta Faad Degi kaphan ke liye ”
____________________________________
“ Pls arange a"Wife"4 me !
Shocked? Daro mat, shaadi nahi karunga,
' Wife' means, wonderful instrument for enjoyment, Ab to thik hai na ”
____________________________________
“ Kyu her Baar mausam k tarah badal jate ho..
Har Din hamara Dil dukhate ho..
Ye baat sunkar hamari ruh kaap gayi..
Ki tum ab bartan dhonewale SABUN se nahate ho. ”
____________________________________
“ Namaskar
Ye MALE/FEMALE
Jach sewa hai, Agar aap purush hai to 5 msg kare, Mahila 3 msg kare,En me se kuchh nhi hain to sms na kare, Hum aapka dard samjh jayege. ”
____________________________________
“ Kya ap bore ho rahe ho?
Kuch karne ka mann ho rha hai? Zip kholo Hath andar dalo or.
Bag se book nikal k padho.
To tumne kya socha.. ”
____________________________________
“ HUM FIZAON KE RUKNE KA INTEZAAR NAHI KARTE
HUM HAWAON KE THAMNE KA INTEZAAR NAHI KARTE
JAB DIL KARTA HAI TO KAR LETE HAI SMS
HUM KANJUSON KE SMS KA INTEZAAR NAHI KARTE ”
____________________________________
“ How chinese gave their child name?
Ans:- They through a spoon on a bowl and what sounds came from the bowl tey kept it as their child name. ”
____________________________________
“ AAJKAL SMS KA BAHUT CHLAN HO GAYA
LADKE KE MOBILE MEIN ME GAJAB HO GAYA
USKI GIRLFRIEND KA NAAM LAVLEE THA
PAR MOBILE ME AATE HI LALAN HO GAYA ”
____________________________________
“ Quyamat ke din farishte ne sabse kaha:-
apne apne gunah paper pe likho
sab ne apne apne gunah likhe
achanak aapki awaj aayi
Sir,
SUPPLIMENT PLZ ”
____________________________________
“ santa banta se- yaar i'm going ka kya matlab hota hai batao?
banta - mai ja raha hu...............!
santa - are jate jate matlab to batake jao...! ”
____________________________________
“ Kahin andhera to kahin shaam hogi
Meri har khushi tere naam hogi
Kuchh maang ke to dekh humse
Bijli Paani ke bill aur
Karz mein dubi property tere naam hogi ”
____________________________________
“ Ek pyare se sms ki ummeed laga rakhi hai..
Hamne nazre screen par tika rakhi hai..
Par ummeed kaise ho poori??
Busy logon se dosti jo bana rakhi hai ”
____________________________________
“ Kal kare so aaj kar, aaj kar so ab. Kal kare so aaj kar, aaj kar so ab. Abey karta hi rahega to dhoyega kab?
”
____________________________________
“ Baah fadke rok lende
je chalda koi zor hunda
assi tere piche kyon rulde
je tere jeha koi hor hunda ”
____________________________________
“ Na Caroodo Me
Na Laakho Me
Na Hazaaro Me
Na Chaand Me
Na Sitaaro Me
Humne Aapko Dekha Hai...
CHAPPAL Churate Hue Gurudwaro Me. ”
____________________________________
“ Jahan dosti vahan pyar,
Jahan pyar vahan ishq,
Jahan ishq, vahan mohabbat,
Jahan mohabbat vahan judai,
Jahan judai vahan dard,
Jahan dard vahan MOOV laga lena.
”
____________________________________
“ Kitne Haseen Ho Tum,
Khud Ko Duniya Ki Nazar Se bachaaya karo,
Aankhon mein Kaajal lagaana hi kaafi nahin,
Plz Galli mein Nimbu-Mirch latkaaya karo.
”
____________________________________
“ 1 ladki thi deewani si,
doston pe woh marti thi!
Chori Chori Chupke Chupke
TEXT likha karti thi,
kuch kehna tha shayad usko
lekin moblie bill se Darti thi.
”
____________________________________
“ Request hai tumse refuse mat karna,
Friendship ke ye dosti ko fuse mat karna,
Hum dost hai tumahre confuse mat karna,
Meri jagah kisi aur ko use mat karna. ”
____________________________________
“ Ladka apni dilruba se pooch raha hai
Kya pyaar karna paap hai?
Kya pyaar karna paap hai?
Ladke ka dost uske kaan mein bolta hai
Abbey patli gali pakad peeche uska baap hai
”
____________________________________
“ Jee chahata hei kee tere nazuk honthon ko choom lu
Jee chahata hei kee tere nazuk honthon ko choom lu
Magar teri bahti hui naak ne iraada badal diya.... ”
____________________________________
“ Hum aise aashik hain jo gulab ko kamal bana denge,
Uski har adaa par ghazal bana denge..
Agar wo aa jayegi mere jindgi me,
To Reliance ki kasam London me bhi Tajmahal bana denge.. ”
____________________________________
“ Wo hamari zindagi mein kuchh is tarah se aaye
Wo hamari zindagi mein kuch is tarah se aaye.
Jaise hare bhare khet mein saand ghus aaye.. ”
____________________________________
“ Apne pyaar ko mat chupao...
Ise zaroorat hai jatane ki...
Apni khubsurti ko mat chupao...
Ise zaroorat hai dikhane ki...
Ab aur Perfume mat lagao...
Tumhe zaroorat hai nahane ki...
”
____________________________________
“ Ab tak meri life ek khuli bottle thi,
Jisme se sab perfume ki tarha udd jata tha.
Par aap ke aane se sab kuch ruk gaya.
Allah kare aap jaisa DHAKKAN sabko mile!!! ”
____________________________________
“ Woh ladki kitni pyaari thi,
Jisko aankh maari thi...
Woh sendal kitni bhari thi,
Jo usne sar pe maari thi...
”
____________________________________
“ Kanjoosi ka National award diya jayega
Aap ka naam sub se pehle liya jayega
Galti se bhi sms na karna
Warna Award haath se nikal jayega! ”
____________________________________
“ duur sahi majbuur sahi yaad tumhari aati hai
duur sahi majbuur sahi yaad tumhari aati hai
tum saans wahan lete ho tum saans wahan lete ho badbuu yahan aati hai. ”
____________________________________
“ YOU
R BUDHU??????????????
B- BEST IN ALL
U- UNDERSTANDING BY MIND
D- DECENT BY NATURE
H- HONEST BY HEART
U- U R UN4GETABLE
GOT IT
BUDHU ”
____________________________________
“ with my
1 heart
2 eyes
5 litres blood
206 bones
1.2millions red cells
60 trillions D.N.A.S
i wish you all the very best best of luck..... ”
____________________________________
“ PYAR means.......?
P...phone karna.
Y...yaad karna.
A...azaadi khona.
R...rote rehna ki kash phone aaye......! ”
____________________________________
“ Woman has man in it, Mrs has Mr in it, female has male in it, Madam has adam in it, so girls r always incomplete without boys.
”
____________________________________
“ Paani mein Whiskey milao ta nasha chadta hai. Paani mein Rum milao to nasha chadta hai. Paani mein Brandy milao to nasha chadta hai. Saala paani mein hi kuch gadbad hai.
”
____________________________________
“ Fill in the blank with yes or NO only.
_______I M NOT A Male.
Koi jaldi nahin hai, aaram se soch kar bata dena.
”
____________________________________
“ A baby fish asked her mother: Y can't we live on earth?
Mother Fish: Earth is not the place for FISH, it's made for SELFISH.
”
____________________________________
“ Ki kariye lokan da, har gal nu lok jhamela kehnde ne,
Je sms na kariye ta kanjoos, te je kariye ta Vehla kehnde ne!
”
____________________________________
“ Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho... Kuch nahi yaar bas aapki shakal yaad aa gayi!
”
____________________________________
“ Gal: Do u have any sentimental love cards?
Shopkeeper: How about this card, it says 'To the only boy I ever loved'
Gal: Great! I want 10 of them
”
____________________________________
“ Three dreams of a man: To be as handsome as his mother thinks. To be as rich as his child believes. To have as many women as his wife suspects
”
____________________________________
“ I just bought a used car. It's a convertible. You turn the key, and it converts into a piece of crap. -Scott E. Roeben
”
____________________________________
“ What's the diff between Dava &d Daru?
Dava is like girlfriend, that comes with expiry date and Daru is like wife, Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi.
”
____________________________________
“ FOOL se, FOOL ne, FOOLon ki FOOLwari me FOOL ke sath wish kiya 'You are the most beautiFOOL, colorFOOL & wonderFOOL amongst all FOOLS
”
____________________________________
“ What do u call a woman in heaven?
An Angel
A crowd of woman in heaven?
A host of Angels
And all woman in heaven?
PEACE ON EARTH!
”
____________________________________
“ Generation Next Motto: Na hum shaadi karenge, na apne bachchon ko karne denge.
”
____________________________________
“ Devdas's matrimonial ad- Wanted wife. Age no bar! Height No bar! Luks no bar! Caste No Bar!
But gal's father shoul have his own Bar.
”
____________________________________
“ May our friendship turn into silver, silver into gold, gold into diamonds... and may our diamonds be forever... Then we'll sell it OK? Fifty-Fifty
”
____________________________________
“ Bhikhari: Saab 1 rupaya de do.
Saheb: Kal aana.
Bhikhari: Saala is kal kal ke chakkar mein is colony mein mere lakhon rupaye fase huye hain
”
____________________________________
“ Exams ke 4 din pehle syllabus dekha to yaad aaya,
Kuch To Hua Hai Kuch Ho Gaya Hai,
Exams ke din paper dekh kar yaad aaya,
Sab Kuch Alag Hai Sab Kuch Naya Hai
”
____________________________________
“ Nasha aankho me hota hai Sharaab mein nahin, Sharddha Dil me hoti hai Mandir mein nahin..... Dosti SMS karne se badhti hai, SMS padhne se nahi....
”
____________________________________
“ Ap ki awaz KOYAL Jaisi, Aankhain HIRAN Jaisi, Chaal MOR jaisi, Aadtain BANDAR Jaisi. Acha hota agar koi ek cheez Insanon Wali Bhi Hoti
”
____________________________________
“ Once in a jungle all the animals were eating PAN PARAG PAN MASALA
But girraffe was not eating. Why?
Because Oonche log oonchi pasand MANIKCHAND
”
____________________________________
“ have started luving 'U'... I know it sounds ridiculous but I can't control my feelings 4 'U'. Some time later I'll start luving more ALPHABETS.!
”
____________________________________
“ In a class, teacher asked: If I buy an item@ 12.75 n sell@15.25, it's loss or profit?
Pappu: Profit in rupees & loss in paise
”
____________________________________
“ When things go wrong, when sadness fills ur heart, when tears flow in ur eyes, always remember 3 things: I�m with u, U have money & Bar is open
”
____________________________________
“ I'd climb the highest mountain. I'd swim the ocean blue, I'd do anything my dear- Just to get away from you
”
____________________________________
“ Train mein TT Sadhu se bola: Kahan jana hai?
Sadhu: Jahan Ram ka janam hua tha.
TT: Ticket hai?
Sadhu: Nahin
TT: Chalo
Sadhu: Kahan?
TT: Jahan Krishan ka janam hua tha.. Jail mein
”
____________________________________
“ Naukrani: Malkin aap udaas kyon hain?
Malkin: Tumhare sahab apne office ki kisi ladki se pyaar karte hai.
Naukrani: Nahin, sahab mujhe dhokha nahin de sakte
”
____________________________________
“ Girl's excuses: Phone mat kiya karo dear, mom hoti hai near, papa se lagta hai fear, baat nahin hoti hai clear. Isliye SMS kiya karo dear without fear n very clear
”
____________________________________
“ Santa: Tommy ne meri saari kitaab kha layi
Mother: Ohnu mere kole leke aa mein usnu saja dewan
Santa: Saja ta mein de diti, usdi kauli wala dudh mein pee gaya
”
____________________________________
“ U r thousands of miles away from me, still I'm watching ur every movement on 3 difft channels: Pogo, Cartoon network & Animal planet. Thnx to media
”
____________________________________
“ Ek ladka ek ladki k saath baitha tha. 2nd day doosri ladki k saath deha gaya. 3rd day koi aur ladki thi. 4th day kisi nayi ladki ke saath tha
Moral: Ladkiyan badal jaati hain, ladke nahin badaltey
”
____________________________________
“ Kabhi kabhi mere dil mein khayal aata hai, aaj nahin aaya, kaha na kabhi kabhi aata hai
”
____________________________________
“ Teri awaz sunne ko jab taras jata hoon, to ghisa pita cd player chala leta hoon. Teri surat ko jab taras jaata hoon, to cartoon network laga leta hoon. Waqt hona chaiye kisi ko yaad karne ke liye, bahane to apne aap hi mil jate hain
”
____________________________________
“ It takes 15 trees to produce the amount of paper that we use to write one exam. Join us in promoting the noble cause of saving trees. SAY NO TO EXAMS
”
____________________________________
“ Dream makes everything possible, Hope makes everything work, Luv makes everything beautiful, Smile makes all the above... So always Brush ur Teeth
”
____________________________________
“ Do u know similarity between Dinosaurs and Decent Girls?
Both don't exist.
”
____________________________________
“ In French: Bon jour
In Spanish: Te Quiro
In Italian: Teamo
In Yugoslav: Volim Te
In English: Good Morning
In Punjabi: Uth Moya Kam te nahi jana?
”
____________________________________
“ Kudi waale pandit nu: Saanu aheja munda chahida jehra kuj khanda penda na howe.
Pandit: Aheja munda taan PGI Emergency ward ch hi mil sakda hai.
”
____________________________________
“ People who do lots of work�make lots of mistakes,
People who do less work�make less mistakes,
People who do no work�make no mistakes,
People who make no mistakes�get promoted.
”
____________________________________
“ J kade tera kalle da paga 10 bandeyan naal pai jaave ta mainu sad layin, main kade kisi nu kut paindi nahin dekhi !
”
___________________________________
“ Ravan was sent to court & was asked to keep a hand on Geeta.
He refused saying: Sita par hath rakh kar itni musibat aayi! Ab Geeta pe haath nahin rakhunga
”
____________________________________
“ Ek yug tha jab log apne ghar ke dwar pe likhte the: ATITHI DEVO BHAVA
Phir likha: SHUBH LABH
Phir likhne lage: U R WELCOME
Aur ab likhte hain: KUTTON SE SAVDHAN
”
____________________________________
“ Thought of the day: Agar aap bus pe chade... ya phir bus aap pe chade... dono marthaba ticket aapka hi kat tha hai
”
____________________________________
“ Q: Agar do pipal ke Pedon ko ek rassi se bandh diya jaye to us rassi ko kya kahenge?
A: Us rassi ko bolengey NOKIA - Connecting pipal.
”
____________________________________
“ When I send SMS to u, it doesn't mean that u have to do the same... U can also send fruits, drinks, pizza, chocolates by courier. DD & Cheques r also accepted.
”
____________________________________
“ Girls Psychology - Fraud with Innocent Boys; Fun with Handsome Boys; Friendship with Charming Boys; Contacts with Intelligent Boys; Flirt with Freaky Boys; Love with Faithful Boys & in the end Marriage with the Rich Boy
”
____________________________________
“ Angry boss: Tumne kabhi Ullu dekha hai?
Executive (sar jhukate hue): Nahin sir.
Boss: Niche kya dekh rahe ho ? Meri taraf dekho.
”
____________________________________
“ Bengali patient: Doc sahab, potla-potla totti aata hai, khane ko man nahin karta hai.
Doc: Yeh lo dawai, mota-mota totti aayega, jaise marzi kaat ke khana
”
____________________________________
“ A lady is standing on top of the hill n she is going to push her father down. So what's the name of the lady?
Push......Paa.
”
____________________________________
“ Food for thought: Why to suffer trying by all means to become rich and wear expensive branded clothes, when best things in life we do naked.
”
____________________________________
“ Reverse dynamics: When a man becomes rich he becomes naughty & when a woman becomes naughty.... she becomes rich.
"
____________________________________
“ An old rich man marries a young gal. Interviewer asks the girl: Apne inmein shaadi ke liye kya dekha?
Girl: Ek to inki income aur doosre inke din kum.
”
____________________________________
“ Jija: Sali ji, aapke yahan ki sabse mash-hoor cheez kaunsi hai?
Sali: Jija ji, jo mash-hoor thi, usey to aap le gaye!
”
____________________________________
“ Boy: I'm not rich like Rahul, I don't even have a big car like Rahul, but I really Luv U!
Girl: I luv u too, but tell me more about Rahul.
”
____________________________________
“ Mashooka: Lagta hai meri aankh mein kuch gir gaya, dekho to.
Mashook: Ek tinka dikh to raha hai, kyon na usey wahin rahne diya jaye main doobonga to sahara dega.
”
____________________________________
“ Narad Muni dharti par madira peene aaye,12 botal pilane k baad theke wala: Apko chadhti kyun nahi ?
Narad: Main Bhagwaan Hoon.
Theke wala: Chad gayi saley ko.
”
____________________________________
“ it takes thousand workers 2 build a castle, Million soldiers 2 protect a country, but just One woman 2 make a Happy Home! Let's Thank... KAAMWALI
”
____________________________________
“ Munna bhai: Agar bina danto ka kutta kate to kya karna chahiye?
Circuit: Simple bhai... Bina sui ka injection lagane ka!
"
____________________________________
“ Another Moon?... Possible
Another Sun?... Possible
Another Sky?... Possible
Another person Like U?... Impossible
'Coz God can't make the same Mistake twice ”
“ If U Don�t Eat Junk food, Don�t Smoke, Don�t Drink, Don't Have boy Friend/Gal Friend, Don't Play Cards, No Late Nights; Then Visit Our site: www.PaidaKyunHuethe.com
”
____________________________________
“ Javed Jaffery proposing a girl: Hi, the babes, here is mys parpoz, with this d reds rose. Plz don�t u d rejects my parpoz b'coz I don�t parpoz d ROZ ROZ!
”
____________________________________
“ Tabiyat thik nahi thi. Tantrik ko dikhaya, Tantrik bola bhoot ka saya hai, kisi ghor paapi ko SMS karo theek ho jaoge... Ab accha mahsus kar raha hoon.
”
____________________________________
“ Saif: My dil goes hmmmmmm...! My dil goes hmmmmmmm....! My dil goes mmmmmmMMm......!! My dil goes mmmmmmm.....!
Javed Jafri: Is this da dils or da makhis...?
”
____________________________________
“ A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that she looks extremely beautiful when her lips r closed !
”
____________________________________
“ Kabhi ye mat socho tumhare gf/bf ya wife/hubby ne tumhe kitna romantic msg bheja hai, sirf yeh socho ke Use kisne bheja hoga ?
”
____________________________________
“ Meaning of ABCDEFG : A Boy Can Do Everything For Girls.
Reverse the letters GFEDCBA
Girls Forget Everything Done & Catch new Bakra Again
”
____________________________________
“ Log kehte hain ki khuda ne aapko badi fursat mein banaaya hai...
Theek hi kehte hain, faltoo kaam fursat mein hi to kiye jaate hain.
”
____________________________________
“ Dear reciever, I'm a Blonde Virus. I'm not so advanced, so pls delete all ur files urself and also help me to spread by sending to all. Thank U !
”
____________________________________
“ Telling a lie is a fault for a little boy, an art for a lover, an accomplishment for a bachelor and a Matter of Survival for a married man. Gud Luck!
”
____________________________________
“ Boy: Ki mein tera hath chum sakda han"
Girl: Kyon Haramjadeya mere bullan te koi kande lagge ne ?
”
____________________________________
“ Kunwaro se log puchte hai ki tumhari ab tak shaadi kyon nahi huye?
Kunware bhi jor se kahte hai: Jaako rakhe sayeean mar sake na koi.
”
____________________________________
“ Yamraj ne ek ladke ki jaan le li. Chitragupt- Is ko waqt se pehle kyon mara?
Yumraj: Kya karun, March end mein target jo pura karna tha.
”
____________________________________
“ Ladka bola : �Dilruba�
Ladki boli : Pizza khila
Ladka bola : Paise Nahi
Ladki boli : Aise nahi
Ladka bola : Mehangayi hai
Ladki boli : To fir Aaj se tu mera bhai hai
”
____________________________________
“ Interviewer to Sardar ji - I will check your mind.
Interviewer - Tell me Opposite of these :-
Interviewer - Good
Sardar - Bad
Interviewer - Come
Sardar - Go
Interviewer - Ugly
Sardar - Pichhly
Interviewer - Shut up
Sardar - Keep Talking
Interviewer - Get Out
Sardar - Come Inside
Interviewer - Oh My God!
Sardar - Oh My Devil!
Interviewer - You are rejected.
Sardar - I am Selected.
”
____________________________________
“ tusi bade hi gr8 ho,
rasgulle ki pl8 ho,
pepsi ka cr8 ho,
ande ka oml8 ho,
SMS karane mein bade le8 ho,
jalebi ki tarah str8 ho,
kher jo bhi ho mere fever8 ho....... ”
____________________________________
“ achhe kapde pehente ho..
aur pure style rakhte ho..
dil me gussa aur face pe
smil rakhte ho..
Naak pochhna aata nahi
aur hath me mobail rakhte ho...
manoj soni 9827641719 ”
____________________________________
“ aapke haath mein mobile hai,
chehre pe khubsurat si smile hai,
sms ki ek chhoti si file hai,
phir bhi SMS nahi karte,
yaar, yeh kaun sa stupid style hai....... ”
____________________________________
“ dil se dil laga kar bhi dekh,
meri yaad mein aansoo bahakar bhi dekh,
SMS kya CALL bhi karenge,
ek baar mere mobile ka bill chuka kar bhi dekh...... ”
____________________________________
“ humare liye apne heart mein
jagah rakhiye ,mind mein nahi,
humein mind mein rakhna,
dangerous ho sakta hai,
kyunki hum mind blowing hai.... ”
____________________________________
“ daaton ko barabar ghis dalne ka,
moti ke maafik chamka dalne ka,
haath mein cutting chai leke ,
sab friends log ko bol dalne ka-
"subah ho gayi mamu"bole toh...
good morning........ ”
____________________________________
“ cheez bewafai se badhkar kya hogi,
gham-e-halat judaai se badhkar kya hogi,
jise deni ho saza 4 saal ke liye,
B.E ki padhai se badhkar kya hogi.... ”
____________________________________
“ ek ladki thi dewaani si,
mobile lekar chalti thi,
nazre jhukaye mobile mein kuch karti thi,
jab bhi milti thi mujhse ,
yehi puchha karti thi,
yeh chalu kaise hota hai...?? ”
____________________________________
“ tum ko dekha....
tum ko dekha....
tum ko dekha....
toh yeh khayal aaya,
paglon ke stock mein naya maal aaya..... ”
____________________________________
“ zindagi behaal hai,sur hai na taal hai,
message box bhi kangaal hai,
kya aapki SMS factory mein hartaal hai?
plz.kuch toh bhejo yeh mere mobile ki,
zindagi ka sawaal hai...... ”
____________________________________
“ Beta: Papa apki shaadi ho gayi?
Papa: Haan.
Beta: Kis se hua?
Papa: Bewkum teri mummy se..
Beta: Wah papa ghar me hi setting kar li. ”
____________________________________
“ Munna Bhai: Agar bina danto ka kutta kate to kya kar ne ka?
Circuit: Simple bhai.Tension nahi lene ka, Bina sui ka injection lene ka. ”
____________________________________
“ Height of Kanjoosi: A Bania's house has caught fire & he is giving miss calls to the Fire brigade!
”
____________________________________
“ Ek c Raja...
Ek c Rani...
Dono mar gaye khatam kahani.
.
.
.
.
.
Na thalle hun ki dead body labni hai?
”
____________________________________
“ Everyday same wishes! Are U bored of it? Let it be difft this time: Let the devils sing around U, Mummies dance around u, Vampires sit beside U. Have a horrible day!
”
____________________________________
“ Dali dali dali
har dali per nazar dali,
har chaman per dali,
jis dali per nazar dali
woh mali ne kaat dali.
”
____________________________________
“ baazuon mein dum rakhta hoon,
dil mein gham rakhta hoon,
aapki dosti ke baad,
logo se wasta kam rakhta hoon,
pata tha mujhe sms ayega,
isiliye DISPRIN bhi saath rakhta hoon... ”
____________________________________
“ kya mast air chal raele hai,
cow log grass eat kar raele hai,
dog log bark bark kar raele hai,
shaane log sms kar raele hai,
DHAKKAN log sms padh raele hai... ”
____________________________________
“ Woh hamari gali me aaye�
Woh hamari gali me aaye�
Woh hamari gali me aaye�
Aur chillake bole�..
Paper Raddi wala !!!!!
”
____________________________________
“ Munnabhai: Ae circuit yeh kutte poonch kyun hilate hain?
Bole to Dog tail shaking WHY?
Circuit: Common sense hai bhai ab poonch kutte ko to nahi hila sakti hai na. ”
____________________________________
“ panditji ne apke mobile ki raashi dekh kar
bataya hai ki .aapke mobile per kanjusi ki
maha dasha mandra rahi hai ,turant mujhe dher sare
sms bhej ke grah shanti kaaren..... dhanyawad. ”
____________________________________
“ its funny when people discuss over
love marriage and arranged marriage
it is like asking a person if he would
like to hang himself or shoot himself. ”
____________________________________
“ Wife: Kya kar rahe ho?
Man: Makkhiya maar rha hu.
Wife: Kitni mari?
Man: 3 male aur 2 female.
Wife: Kaise malum?
Man: Kyonki 3 daru ki botal se chipki thi or 2 phone se... ”
____________________________________
“ A Love Letter from BISCUIT MAKER
Dear Marie, Today is Good Day, U r Anmol for me... But U have Crackjacked my Heart, Bcoz I have a Little Heart, Now I m in 50/50 position... ”
____________________________________
“ Patient to Doc: Aapne nurse bahut achhi rakhi hai, uska haath lagte hi main theek ho gaya.
Doctor: Jaanta hu, thappad ki awaaz mujhe bhi sunai di thi. ”
____________________________________
“ Medical Shayari
When you breathe, you respire!
Wah Wah!
When you breathe, you respire!
Wah Wah!
When you don't breathe, you expire!
Wah Wah, kya baat hai! ”
____________________________________
“ I�m a killer, i kill people for money, but you are my friend
I KILL YOU FOR FREE !! ”
____________________________________
“ Interviewer: what is ur qualification?
Banta: Sir, i'm Ph.d
Interviewer: what do u mean by Ph.d?
Banta: passed high school with difficulty ”
____________________________________
“ Santa goes to a hotel and orders chiken
Waiter: french or spanish?
Santa: jehra margi le aa,
main kehra gallan karniya ne
buurrraaaaa! ”
____________________________________
“ Doctor: "Sardar ji aapki ek Kidney Fail ho gyi hai"
Sardar pehle to bahut roya, fir aansu ponchtey hue bola,
.
.
.
.
.
Kitney Marks se ???? ”
____________________________________
“ jab hume unse mohabbat hui, to unko hamari mohabbat par shak tha jab unhe hamse mohabbat hui to hum par kisi aur ka haq tha..... ”
____________________________________
“ Woman complaining to Dentist: "I'd rather get pregnant than have a tooth filled !" Dentist: "Decide so i can adjust the chair accordingly..." ”
____________________________________
“ achhe kapde pehente ho
aur pure style rakhte ho
dil me gussa aur face pe
smile rakhte ho
Naak pochhna aata nahi
aur haath me mobail rakhte ho ”
____________________________________
“ Shaam hote hi ye Dil udaas hota hai
Toote khwaboo ke siwa kuch na pass hota hai
Tumahri yaad aise waqt bohat aati hai
Bandar jab koi aas-paas hota hai
”
____________________________________
“ ROZ LOGON SE AAPKE PANGE HONGE
ROZ AAPKE GHAR MEIN DANGE HONGE
YAAD RAKHNA MUJHE SMS NAHI KIYA
TO AAPKE 420 BACCHE HONGE
AUR SAB LUCCHE, LAFANGE AUR GANJE HONGE ”
____________________________________
“ MERE DIL ME RAHO YA JIGAR ME RAHO
UMAR BHAR TUM MERI NAZAR ME RAHO
BUS ITNA KARAM KAR DENA HUM PAR
MERE GHAR MAT AANA, AAP APNE GHAR ME RAHO
”
____________________________________
“ har khushi teri taraf mor doon tere liye chand tare tak tor doon khusion k
darwaze tere liye khol doon itna kafi hai ya 2 4 jhoot aur bol doon
”
____________________________________
“ aansoo baha baha kar dariya bana diya,
khud apni maut ka asaan jariya bana diya,
maangkar mumtaz ne taz-e-mahal,
shahjahan ko raja se kadiya bana diya....... ”
____________________________________
“ jawab to mil jate hai,
kabhi difficult sawaal toh bhejo,
forward toh bahut karte ho,
kabhi khud ka khayal toh bhejo..... ”
____________________________________
“ agar tum ho haseen ,toh bure hum bhi nahi,
agar tum rehte ho mahalon mein,
toh sadak par hum bhi nahi,
pyar karke kehte ho.....hoon mein shadi shuda,
to kaan khol kar soon lo ...
kunware to hum bhi nahi..... ”
____________________________________
“ Nayi nayi shadi thi,Naya tha zamana.
Dulha bechain tha,
sunne ko gana.
Dulhan ne shuru kiya...
BHAIYA MERE RAKHI KE BANDHAN KO NIBHANA. ”
____________________________________
“ I mix Rum in water and got drunk.I mix Brandy in water and got drunk.I mix WHISKY in water and got drunk again.Now I have decided never to drink water again!!! ”
____________________________________
“ PIMPLE PIMPLE LITTLE STAR SAARE KANJUS MERE YAAR JOH, MUJHE PHONE YA SMS NAA KARE USKE MOOH PAR PIMPLE HO JAAYE CHAAR BAAR BAAR LAGATAAR. ”
____________________________________
“ Do u know that ur smile takes 1000 people to death?
Save the world� so plz start teeth brushing regularly ”
____________________________________
“ Apni Surat ka kabhi to didaar de
tadap raha hu ab aur na intzaar de
Apni awaaz nahi sunani to mat suna
Kam se kam 1 Missed call hee maar de ”
____________________________________
“ Hamare liye apne heart me jagah rakhiye, Mind me nahi
Hume mind me rakhna dangerous ho sakta hai
Kyonki hum mind blowing hai
”
____________________________________
“ Kiss kisi ki mahphil me,
Kiss kisi ne kiss kisi ko kiss kiya.
Ek hum hai jisne her kiss ko miss kiya,
Aur ek aap hai jisne har miss ko kiss kiya. ”
____________________________________
“ AAJ FRIDAY HAI!!!
Is msg ko 10 logon ko bhejo. Believe me! 7 din baad fir Friday aayega..
It really works! Try it..
Ignore kiya to kal Saturday aa jayega ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ Chand ko apne noor pe guroor hai,
Himesh ko apni topi ka suroor hai..
Mujhe bhi apne pe guroor hai,
Kyuki mere paas bhi free k msg padhnewala langur hai ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ If I get hypnotised, then wat question would u like to ask me & why?
Reply me first & then send to all ur frnds & see wat they reply ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ Today is RECHARGING DAY!
So recharge my cell with any of d following-
Rs 20- Nice frd
Rs 50- Sweet frd
Rs 150- Cute frd
Rs 250- Gud frd
Rs 500- Best frd
AB DIKHAO DOSTI ;-) ”
____________________________________
“ Wat is the similarity bet//w bill gates and me? Don't knw? He never comes to my house And i never go to his house EGO PROBLEM YOU KNW..? ”
____________________________________
“ "AAJ SUNDAY HAI.."
.
.
Is msg ko 10 logon ko bhejiye..
Believe me!
7 din baad phir Sunday aa jaayega! ;-)
It really works!!! ”
____________________________________
“ Dosti hi shayad zindgi hoti hai,
Jo har dil me basi hoti hai,
Waise to jee lete hain sabhi akele,
Phir bhi zarurat iski har kisiko hoti hai.. ”
____________________________________
“ AL HULAM LULLA HABI LULLAM MUSAL HAKRIT AL HABIBUL LUL LUQ AMMIL!
U've just read an Arabic prayer to lose ur HAIR n TEETH in 7 days!!
”
____________________________________
“ If God gives me 24 hours. Before death, i will spend 23:55 minutes with u & 5 minutes i will press your neck & say,chal naa yaar..! Saath chaltey hain...Hahaha. ”
____________________________________
“ I want u to know that u r very important to me,it's impossible 4me to live widout u even 4a second!U r my life & I can feel u everywhere.DONT MIND I WAS TALKING ABOUT OXYGEN ”
____________________________________
“ SomeOne..
MiSSES U..
NeedS U..
Worries About U
Lonely Without U
Guess Who?
THE MONKEY IN
... THE ZOO ... ”
____________________________________
“ You are a GHONCHU..
G-reat
H-ot
O-ne in million
N-aughty
C-ute
H-umble
U-nique
Zyada khush mat ho, hai to tu ghonchu hi... ”
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